Coming to an Asaya night?
Everything a first-timer wonders about — how the evening runs, how matches work, what to bring, and what happens after. Can't find your question? Email zack@asaya.app and a real person will answer.
Start here.
What is an Asaya event, exactly?
A ticketed evening at an independent bookstore where everyone's single and the shelves do the introducing. Asaya matches you with a handful of people for short one-on-one conversations, with plenty of open time to browse and mingle in between. The whole idea is in the tagline: meet first — over books, not bios.
How is this different from speed dating?
Fair question — there are one-on-one introductions and a clock, so from across the room it can look similar. Up close it's a different night, in three ways.
It's a party, not a procedure. Speed dating seats you at a numbered table and moves you on when the bell goes. An Asaya night is a bookstore after hours, with wine, and you're free to browse, wander, and talk to whoever you like. The app tells you who's next and where to find them; the rest of the evening is yours.
Fewer people, more time. Speed dating runs you down a long line of strangers, a few minutes each. We introduce you to six to eight people and give you six real minutes with each one — long enough to find out whether there's something there — with open time in between.
Every introduction is chosen. Speed dating is everyone-meets-everyone. Your Asaya introductions are picked before the night from who you told us you're interested in and what you share — the books you love, how you lean. You're not working through a room. You're meeting the handful of people in it who were picked for you.
Where and when do events happen?
In New York City, at independent bookstores, usually on weekday evenings — think 7 to 9pm. Every event lists its exact date, venue, and neighborhood. Browse what's coming up on our events page.
Who else is in the room?
Book-loving single adults — usually around forty of them, all 18 or older, all verified Asaya members. Guest lists are named and ticketed, so it's a real room of real people, never an anonymous walk-in crowd.
Is this a dating thing, or can I make friends too?
Both. Asaya is built for romantic connection, but not every round will be a romantic match. Sometimes you'll get a Friend Intro instead — someone we think you'd genuinely enjoy talking to, just not as a date. That way nobody is ever left sitting out a round.
Do I have to be a serious reader?
Not at all. One book that stayed with you is plenty. A favorite book is just a better icebreaker than a bio — it says something about how you notice things, what you find funny, what you love. You don't need a reading list, only something honest.
Is Asaya available in my city?
New York is live now, and we're rolling out city by city. If you're somewhere else, download the iPhone app or open the web app in your browser, and we'll tell you the moment events open near you.
Getting in.
How do I sign up for an event?
Grab a ticket from the event listing — on our events page or inside the app. Checkout runs through Eventbrite or Luma. Then set up your Asaya profile in the app so we can build your matches before the night.
Do I need the app to come?
Yes. Asaya is where you build your profile, get your matches, check in at the door, and message people afterward. The ticket gets you in the room; the app is how the evening actually works. There are two ways to run it — the iPhone app, or the mobile web app in your phone's browser — and either one does the whole night.
How do I get the app?
Two ways, and they're the same Asaya. On an iPhone, download it from the App Store. On any phone, open the web app in your browser — nothing to install, and you can add it to your home screen. We're opening cities up one at a time, and New York is live right now.
Is there an Android app?
Not a native one yet — but you don't need an iPhone to come. Asaya's mobile web app runs in any phone's browser, Android included, and carries the whole evening: your profile, your matches, check-in at the door, and messages afterward. Add it to your home screen and it sits there like any other app.
How much do tickets cost? Are events ever free?
It depends on the event — pricing is set per night and shown right on the listing, and some events are free. You'll always see the price, and whether it's sold out, before you commit to anything.
I bought a ticket — how do I connect it to my profile?
Usually it links itself. The one tip that makes it seamless: register for the event with the same phone number you use to log in to Asaya. If it doesn't match automatically, the app walks you through a quick confirmation — by text code, order number, or email.
Can I come with a friend?
Of course — just grab separate tickets. Everyone gets their own set of matches from their own profile, so you probably won't be matched to each other, but there's open mingling time all night to hang out too.
What's the refund or cancellation policy?
Tickets are handled through Eventbrite or Luma, so cancellations and refunds run through your order there. If anything's unclear, email zack@asaya.app and we'll help. Registered by accident, or it isn't you? You can remove yourself from an event in the app.
How matches work.
What do I share to set up my profile?
Just a couple things to help us match you and help others break the ice:
- The basics — name, age, gender(s) you'd like to meet
- A few photos
- 1-2 written prompts -- the more you share, the better your matches
You can also add books you love, interests, and a note on what matters to you. The more you share, the better your matches — but you don't have to do it all at once.
How are my matches chosen?
Who you like + who likes you + what you write + what books you love: we prioritize introducing you to people you're actually excited about: you can preview profiles and indicate to us you like them, but you won't know who's coming to the event until you show up. Mutual-likes are always introduced.
How many matches will I get?
A small, curated set — 6-8 people for six minutes each. Enough for real conversations, not so many that the night turns into a blur.
Does Asaya work for LGBTQ+ folks?
Yes. You choose who you'd like to see — men, women, nonbinary, any combination — and matching respects that on both sides. We also program identity- and community-specific nights, like queer evenings, together with our bookstore partners.
Can I set an age range, or who I'm shown?
Yes — set your gender preferences and age range in your profile, and matching honors them.
On the night.
What happens when I arrive?
You check in — either by tapping once to confirm you're at the venue, or by entering the short code the host reads out at the door. Checking in is what unlocks your schedule and your matches for the evening.
What's the format?
A guided rotation. Asaya gives you an order to meet your matches, one at a time, for short one-on-one conversations — about ten minutes each — with open social time and breaks in between. A live card on your phone shows who you're meeting next and which table, so you never have to wonder who to approach first. There's a focused "Event Mode" for the round you're in.
How long does an event last?
Usually about two hours.
Can I talk to people who aren't my matches?
Absolutely — that's half the point. Between rounds there's real mingling time, plus a "People Here Tonight" list in the app so you can find anyone you've met.
What's Profile Swap — and what are "Digits"?
It's how you trade profiles with someone in the room, match or not. Open Profile Swap and either scan their QR code or type their six-digit code — that's the "Digits" tab. Swaps are mutual: the moment it connects, you'll both see each other's profile. A lot nicer than shouting your handle across a bookstore.
What if my match doesn't show up?
No drama. If someone isn't there for their round, you simply pair up with someone else who's free, and the host makes that easy. Running late yourself? You'll be folded into every remaining round automatically.
What should I bring or wear?
Just yourself and your phone — that's your schedule and your check-in. Come as you are; the room is meant to feel easy, not like an interview. Check the event's "What to bring" notes for anything specific, and bring ID if the listing says the venue requires it.
Safety and privacy.
How do you keep events safe?
Every guest is a verified member on a named, ticketed list — no anonymous walk-ins. Each event is run by a trained Asaya host from setup to close, so the booksellers never have to mediate. And we hold a zero-tolerance line on harassment and misconduct, at the event and in the app afterward. Our full community guidelines spell out exactly what that means.
How do I report or block someone?
Right in the app — you can block or report any profile or message, and you never owe anyone an explanation. You can also email zack@asaya.app. We act on reports of abuse or objectionable content quickly, typically within 24 hours.
What's the minimum age?
You must be 18 or older to use Asaya or attend an event. No exceptions.
How do I delete my account?
Anytime, right in the app — it fully removes your profile, photos, answers, matches, and chats. If you get stuck, email zack@asaya.app and we'll take care of it. See our Terms of Service for the rest.
Come meet first.
Browse what's coming up in New York, or send us a note — a real person reads every message.
Prefer email? zack@asaya.app